Groan - The Divine Right of Kings

Groan made my day. I was feeling really down in the dumps. My amplifiers got soaked in toxic sludge from the Gowanus canal in Brooklyn during Hurricane Sandy. Never in my life did I think I would intentionally hose down a 50 watt Orange and a 100 watt Marshall but that's what I had to do to get the crud off. After letting them dry out in a storage locker for a week I finally decided to bring them to the music store to see if they could be repaired. I put them in the trunk of my car and went space truckin on the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. For some reason I decided this was the time to give the first of the new Groan album The Divine Right of Kings a spin. I'm very glad I did.

Album opener "Weeping Jesus" showed promise. Starting off with a short but very heavy Black Sabbath Volume 4 influenced jam, eventually the seas part for an creepy Uriah Heepy vocal section. It flows into "Sacrificial Virgin" which continues under the spell of Sabbath filtered through Cathedral. But it's the third song "Magic Man" that really grabbed my attention. No doubt named in tribute the best Heart song, vocalist Mazzereth lets loose a barrage of rabble rousing ramalama that turned my frown into party down. Over a cacophony of hellish feedback he starts screaming about how when the terminal stasis starts to bring you down "you're wise, you're clever. You know how to deal with this bad situation. I'm talkin' about reaching for the Sabbath, the 'DC, the Priest." He goes on to list all the other heavy rock essentials. But when he mentioned reaching for the FOGHAT I really started to burn rubber. Talk about the power of music to soothe a troubled soul. Groan's just lucky that I had to keep both hands on the wheel and couldn't reach for my Grand Funk tapes. But if I did that I wouldn't have heard the rest of their kick ass album.

It's hard to follow up such a pinnacle jam as that, but they make noble attempts on every song. Stained Class is my favorite Judas Priest album and it sounds like it inspired "Atomic Prophets" and "Gods Of Fire." And how can you not love a song called "How Black Was Our Sabbath?" You've read the book written by former Sabbath roadies, now crank the song! Songs like "Dissolution" and "Black Death" bear a strong Candlemass/Cathedral take on heavy doom. "Let's Have A Pint At The Crooked Cock" is a short musical interlude with an excellent immature title. The album wraps up with the incredible 8 minute title track, which throws in everything from church organ, choirs, spooky sing alongs and enough riffs to keep it all glued together.

One of the best things about Groan is that it's obvious they take the music seriously but they don't take themselves too seriously. Too often doom metal is bogged down by rules of conduct. Who the hell wants more rules and clearly defined parameters? Mazzereth isn't afraid to howl and command the band to boogie during instrumental breaks, and they respond enthusiastically. The musical trio of guitarist Dan Wainwright, bassist Leigh Jones and drummer Chris West is supremely tight and can really rock. The production on the album is top notch and the cover art is truly denim jacket worthy.


--Woody

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Groan – The Sleeping Wizard

This is what happens when unsupervised youth is allowed to fester in a basement of cheap beer, dirt weed and Cathedral tapes. Groan are a 4 piece doom metal outfit with members spread out across the UK but close enough to Stonehenge absorb some of its triptych wicked powers. The Sleeping Wizard is their debut. 7 songs in 26 minutes makes it either a short album or a long EP, take your pick.

Musically, Groan is in the tradition of Black Sabbath influenced bands like Candlemass, Electric Wizard, etc but include a bit more Hawkwind than usual and some straight up classic rock, too. They also have great stage names. Thor’s Hammer pounds the drums, The Riff Wizard is obviously the guitarist, Mazzareth is the singer and the bassist is The Forest-Dwelling Fuzz Creature. The production is low budget, but suits the band well. The songs are bashed out with gusto and Mazzareth’s vocals are swathed in a “Planet Caravan” gauze for an outer space effect. I was hoping he would yell “take me to your leader” in one song, but there’s always next time.

All 7 songs are very solid doom metal jams, but “Witchy Woman” is probably my favorite. Sounds like someone replaced Master of Reality on the stereo with Burn and it opened a new avenue for these guys. David Coverdale wishes he wrote “she rides the Pegasus, she makes the priest forget about Jesus” on his new album. Other highlights are the anti-work “Psychedelic Demons” and the rampaging “Sleeping Wizard.” “Ride Of The Antichrist” sounds like something Raven might have come up with in 1981 after a heavy dose of cough syrup. Most of the songs are pretty fast, but album closer “Ancient Space (Master Of Time)” moves at a Sleep-y snails pace.

If doom is your bag, then give these kids some support. Just think of the jams they’ll come up with if they can get better quality weeeeed. Get in on the ground floor and Groan.

--Woody

Buy here: Sleeping Wizard

http://www.myspace.com/groanuk