Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Eoghan Quigg - Eoghan Quigg

I wasn't really going to get a hold of this album to start with because I thought it would be mediocre and sanitized but after reading the popjustice review about it being the exact opposite of Thriller, I just HAD to hear how bad it is.

Here's what I have to say. Be warned - I'm about to slam this album worse than Britney and you all know I hate the guts out of her.

Guys, if I were to give you one piece of advice when you browse a UK record store(online or not..), never, I repeat - NEVER IN THE GAZILLION YEARS even ATTEMPT to buy Eoghan Quigg's debut album. If you can, pirate it as much as you can, tell your friends to because it's excruciatingly awful.

I don't just mean painful, I mean EXCRUCIATING. I literally have to stop in the middle of a song and breathe because it's so horrid. Eoghan's voice is one that NEEDS auto-tune and double-tracking. Can't Simon see, we won't mind studio tricks if we know that he really sucks in the first place!

As much as I hate boring ballad-filled albums, I'd prefer something like that for Eoghan. The problem is, Simon's trying too hard to make him 'young' and all but he can't. Home is probably the best sung-cover on the album - it's not as painful to hear as the rest of it and I got to about 2:48 before I forwarded it! Recorrrrd. It's still excruciating though.

I've never liked Eoghan - didn't like him on the X Factor and thought his single was so wimpy but this is way below anything he's done. The fact that there's only one original song on the album isn't new to me - I've seen Simon murder Westlife with that technique. What's new to me is the fact that Simon has stooped down to second no, fifth-rate McFly, Busted, ABBA, Take That and even MICHAEL JACKSON covers.

I can take first or second-rate covers if the signing somehow saves the song but Eoghan doesn't do any favors to the songs. I can also take it if the song covered is really gorgeous but nooooo - ABBA? For a sixteen year-old? Never in a trillion years. In short, his repertoire sucks. Is this because of the recession or something? Simon doesn't want to spend anything on Eoghan so he just got a bunch of random songs, had Eoghan sing them and called it an album. OR, he wants to drop the boy and save millions on promotion, production and other stuff.

The conclusion: He can't sing uptempos and he shouldn't try - EVERRR. He shouldn't scream as well. Ugh.

I can't do a sum-up, the whole album sucks worse than anything else and all the tracks are bad. I will however, give it a nice rating. NOT!

0/5. TAKE THAT SIMON COWELL!

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