I strode with purpose into the anteroom outside of the Oval Office on my way to see the President. The President’s receptionist attempted to stop me, but one look at my intense demeanor was enough to convince her that I would not take kindly to being hassled or delayed. Five strides and I was across the room, forcefully opening the door, and making one last mental check of all the information I needed to relate to the Commander in Chief. I knew I would be interrupting a meeting the President was having with some of his top advisors, but this situation could not wait.
“Ladies and gentlemen. No time for pleasantries I’m afraid. I need the room…right now.” My words complemented my glare in persuading all of the advisors that I meant business, and they quickly extricated themselves from the office.
“Okay Secretary Penfold. Would you mind telling me what this is about?”
“Mr. President, we have a situation.”
“A situation, Secretary Penfold?”
“Yes sir. We have just received intelligence defining a clear and present danger to the United States of America, as well as the rest of the world.”
“All right. Where does this threat come from?”
“Germany sir.”
“Germany?”
“Yes sir. Two Germans have created a new weapon ripped directly from our worst nightmares.”
“What kind of weapon are we talking about here? Nuclear, chemical, or biological?”
“None of those, sir. This appears to be an entirely new type of weapon. It is auditory in nature; a sonic weapon so to speak.”
“It uses sound?”
“Yes sir, music to be exact.”
“Music? Seriously Secretary Penfold? What exactly can this music do? I listen to music everyday, but we don’t raise the country’s alert status every time I turn on my stereo.”
“Correct sir, but this music has been specially formulated to affect the environment it’s played in; specifically buildings and structures.”
“What do you mean Penfold?”
“Sir, what was the last Hollywood action film that you watched?”
“I think it was a James Bond movie or something, but what does that have to do with anything?”
“Just humor me sir. Were there many explosions in the movie?”
“Of course! It was an action film for crying out loud! There were things exploding in almost every scene!”
“Mr. President, do you remember any ordinary building blowing up, one that did not contain any kind of explosive or accelerant?”
“Yes. Now what is the point of this line of questioning?”
“That is exactly what happens when this music is played. This music acts as a concrete catalyst.”
“Penfold, are you saying…”
“Yes sir. Point a speaker playing this music at a concrete structure, or even something built with a small concrete component, and it will explode like a giant stick of dynamite!”
“Mercy!” The President paused for a moment exhibiting grave concern. “Tell me we know who has this weapon Secretary Penfold. Tell me we know where it is!”
“We do sir. The two men responsible form the band Beehoover. Their base of operations is Esslingen, Germany. They are located there now.”
“Good. Send a representative immediately. We need to make contact with these men as soon as possible.”
“Yes sir.”
Waveriders I give you Beehoover; the righteous, mighty, and inventive two piece ensemble from Germany that is out to send your musical enjoyment scale into tilt territory. Analyzing my own listening history, it was a forgone conclusion that I would embrace this band with wide open arms. Honestly, I feel as if a focus group looked into my brain, checked off the musical elements necessary to excite me, and compiled several of them to produce Beehoover. Let’s break it down as simply as possible, shall we? Beehoover sounds like an aggressive version of Tool, with a splash of Primus, topped off with Clutch-like vocals. Don’t worry. I’ll wait for that last sentence to properly sink in before continuing. No…I completely understand. Trust me. I feel exactly the same way!
Concrete Catalyst is the third full length album, and fourth overall release from this dynamic duo. The epic nine song experience monopolizes attention spans for its entire fifty minute duration. There is no let-up. None. Zero. All killer, no filler. You know the drill. Take care of any errands or responsibilities before listening because once that play button is pressed, you’ll be lost to the world under a constant barrage of enormous riffs, bottomless grooves, and brave explorations. Perhaps the highest compliment I can give this album is that it makes me lose track of time. I’ve lost multiple hours already, and this album shows no sign of relinquishing its grasp on me any time soon. Problematic? Not remotely!
As previously noted, Beehoover throws an avalanche of hammering riffs at the listener that refuse to be ignored. Pick a song, any song. No matter which one you choose, at some point you will be enveloped by wicked bass riffs and thunderous drumming. It is unavoidable. My two favorite songs from the album are “Sultana” and “Counted Is Bygone”. “Sultana” begins with majestic, cascading bass chords that quickly transition into dissonance complemented with booming, echo heavy drums. About a minute and fifteen seconds into the song the central heavy groove kicks in, producing instant fist pumping and head gyration. “Counted is Bygone” burns brightly right from the start. Quick, intricate bass strumming coupled with staccato drumming dominates the first half of this song before the latter half springboards into a full-on exploratory journey. All of the musical exploration perfectly complements the sonic makeup of the song, serving to greatly enhance an already riveting performance. Just fantastic stuff!
So there you have it waveriders. If you a) are a fan of incredibly interesting heavy music, b) need a group to prove to you that a bass can in fact make you forget the need for a guitar, c) miss the sound of some of the nineties biggest non-grunge bands, or d) simply want to keep an eye out for what those wily Germans come up with next, you need to pick up Beehoover’s Concrete Catalyst. Now let’s get back to the White House.
“Secretary Penfold, give me a status report.”
“Mr. President, our representative got there too late. The music had been pressed and shipped out already. The album had been uploaded onto the internet as well.”
“What does this mean Penfold? What can we do now?”
“There is only one thing to do Mr. President. We can’t stop the spread of this music. We fully understand what chaos will result when people listen to this album. All we can really do is set our top scientists and industrialists the task of finding a substitute for concrete. I have a feeling we’re going to be rebuilding a great many things in the near future.” After I finished my last sentence, the noise of distant explosions began to reach my ears. It had begun.
--Penfold
Buy here mp3: Concrete Catalyst
Buy here: Concrete Catalyst
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