[Gayo Daejun 2012] Part 2: The Consolation Prizes

Like I said yesterday, Gayo Daejuns allow for a wide variety of performances. With the sheer number of acts, the most relevant of which show up on all three shows, there are bound to be performances of all kinds. Like any year, there were performances that were boring, there were those that were really bad and painful, there were those that completely blew everyone else out of the water, but there were also performances that were somewhere in between. Performances that could have been good, performances that had good ideas, execution, or staging, but which didn't have everything. They were good, but not good enough.

Which is why this year, aside from picking my over-all favorites, I'm handing out two kinds of "consolation prizes" so to say, to the performances that had their moments, but were outshone by better ones. First, with so many special arrangements done over the course of three shows, there were bound to be those which really brought something new to the table. And second, I'll be listing the five performances that I saw so much potential in, but which didn't really completely pull through.

Shall we?

The Best Arrangements

KARA - "Pandora" (SBS)
I really liked "Pandora" to start with, so I really liked how they kept this re-arrangement simple, adding some more oomph to the song, but retaining the elements that are both familiar and likable. It's probably the most simple rearrangement on the list, but the thing with this is that you know the simplicity wasn't because of laziness or lack of time. It makes sense, and it gives the song something as opposed to just adding to the chaos. I also really like the dance break -- there's substance to it, but it's also very graceful. If they had delivered this better, it would've been a stand-out performance of the night, really.

Super Junior - "Sexy, Free and Single" (SBS)
After their KBS performance, honestly I was put-off Super Junior's Gayo appearances this year. Every year we get some sort of retrospective of everything they put out since "Sorry Sorry". I know "Sorry Sorry" was a really good song, because it was and it opened so many doors, and I'd take it over "Sexy, Free and Single" any day, but it's not 2009 anymore, plus they've incorporated it in later performances already -- can we move on? This is a 2012 Gayo Daejun, not a 2009 or 2010 or 2011 one. Which is why I liked their SBS arrangement much more. It was pretty sloppily sung, but I liked the arrangement because it gave the song a different kind of dimension, and it's fitting for a group of Super Junior's seniority/stature. You can tell they prepared for this, and you can tell that people made an effort to make this arrangement work. It also made the hook a lot less annoying that it is, for which I'm forever grateful.

Ga-In - "Bloom" (MBC)
This was a nice change from the original performance, which is really perky in a kind of innocent way (but still really good), but I wouldn't really say it's unexpected. The arrangement matches Ga-In and her personality as a performer really well because it gives the song this more mature kind of sexy that you didn't see in the original arrangement. What I really liked about this though was the fact that even if the nature of the elements they chose mass it easy for the song to just stay in one place and not go anywhere else, this performance still has dynamics to it -- verses are ever so slightly urgent, and the chorus has a very graceful, but confident explosion. This is the kind of lie-low arrangement that wouldn't have worked if one, the arranger was lazy, and two, Ga-In couldn't sing. And thankfully, neither happened.

Potentially Good Performances

Teen Top - "Be My Girl" + "Going Crazy" (KBS)
This could have been a good performance, because the song choice was really good -- perky enough to liven up the atmosphere -- and I kind of liked the remix of "Going Crazy", but the delivery fell short. I was reading through my notes from when I first watched this performance, and after watching it a few more times, I still think the same:

The vocals were going back and forth between sloppy and painful, the only reason why the belting was successful was because it was more of screaming than singing. And underneath all the jumping and movement, their presence was pretty mediocre and more manic than energetic.

I'm all for graceful performances, and being too stiff on stage is bad too, but when you perform you need to put some guts into it as well, no matter how fluid the movements. I get the feeling that they were going for that effortless fun vibe, but all I got from the choreographed parts were limbs flailing around with little purpose, and sub-par vocals. Which is really a pity.

SM The Performance - "Spectrum" (SBS)
To tell you the truth, I was actually pretty bored throughout the SBS Gayo, more than I was during the KBS. There was so much going on, but hardly anyone actually delivered, so I ended up just "leafing through" majority of the show at first. But then SM The Performance showed up and they literally made me peel my eyes away from my computer and on to the TV. Which is surprising considering the fact that this is supposed to be more of a dance group and I'm more of a music person. However, two things made me notice this performance (aside from Yunho, of course) -- the song, and the delivery.

"Spectrum" is an amazing, glorious song to start with -- you have all these beautiful elements that really make the song soar, and then you have this melody that lies low during the verses but does the soaring at the chorus. Beautiful. It's the kind of song that you really can't not dance to. Believe me, the only reason why I can stay still is because I'm too busy concentrating on the performance. And then, you have these SM dancers, most of which you hardly notice in their respective groups because they're too busy trying to make up for the weaknesses of their bandmates. Of course some of the people in this project group are significantly weaker than others, but the ratio of useful to less useful/useless is much, much better. These are people who know how to carry themselves on stage, and people who know how to carry even more people than they do here, so naturally they'd do a good job performing. As far as the vocal distribution goes, SM hit the nail on the head for the third time -- people like Taemin and Yunho, people with actual voices, got the solos, and everyone else was multi-tracked. If this had been sung live, and done just as well as it was, this would be on my list of best Gayo performances, but since it wasn't it'll have to settle for potentially one of the best.

Mystic White - "Mermaid Princess" (SBS)
Like I said yesterday, the only project group song I liked was the Mystic White one, because it was fresher than the others, and the production was really good. It had substance as a recording, but it fell short as a performance. It was okay, but the vocals were weak, and the chorus, which I really liked, was delivered sloppily. The entire performance was boring and frail, which is the complete opposite of the characteristics that made me like the song in the first place. The substance was gone, and it's like the entire performance was watered down. In a bad way. Which is really a pity because it was a really good song.

KARA - "Pandora" (MBC)
When I first saw this performance I was still high off the amazing SISTAR one, and even then I thought this had a fighting chance against that gorgeous rock version of "Alone". The remix was confident and I really liked it, and the staging was great (despite the dancing guy) with the crowd of backup dancers that they really made use of. It was a fun way to present a song as good as "Pandora", so obviously I was on board. But then they started singing and they weren't singing live. I guess my ears are partially thankful that I didn't have to hear their sub-par vocals, but honestly, I hate that they didn't even get the chance to try and do it well. What if they had done it well? Even if I doubt it'll happen, KARA is bound to hit it right some time. There were so many good elements, and they were all disregarded by the fact that this ended up only half a performance.

*Note: So apparently, KARA were not lip-synching, but to me that just means that this was even worse than I initially thought it was. Usually, when vocals are too perfect to be humanly possible, at least without studio tricks, or when less obvious auto tune becomes obvious, or when the shape of their mouths don't correspond to the note they're hitting, the performance is lip-synched. Which kind of makes this "live singing" even worse because the only reason I found out that they were singing live was one, someone commented below, and two, I heard them breathing. Yeah sure the backing track makes everything nice and even, but both KARA and the sound guys are at fault -- the sound guys for turning the backing track too high, and KARA for not making an effort to sing over it when it's pretty clear that the backing track is ridiculously loud.

DBSK - "Catch Me" (MBC)
I was really disappointed that DBSK didn't get anything new for this year's Gayo Daejuns, because this is the first year they spent closing all three shows and yet all they had with them was some random intro and the same backing track they've been using since September. Their performances this year were a total waste, not only of their talent, but of "Catch Me" and everything that could've happened. Here you have two performers who literally jump through hoops and fire for a living, and do it well, with a song that's elaborate enough to spruce up even more, and nothing was done. I mean they sang and performed really well, with presence and conviction, but they did that on smaller music shows too -- Gayo Daejuns are supposed to be special. I chose their MBC appearance because it started out really, really good, and when I heard the opening bars of "O - Jung. Ban. Hap." play, my jaw dropped in surprise and awe. That's the kind of reaction I wanted to have for the entirety of the all three performances, but then "Catch Me" came on and things were normal again. This could've been so much better because if anyone can carry a challenging arrangement, it's these two.

And I'm two days late, but that's it for 2012! Again, thank you so much for sticking around despite the rocky start last December. Time to concentrate on 2013!

[#35] Kyuhyun and Tiffany - "To The Beautiful You"

From: ""To The Beautiful You OST"
Format: Digital Single
Released: August
Territory: South Korea
Previous Best of Appearances: First Appearance (as a duo)

Like I said earlier this year, it was an almost-magical moment when I found out that not only had my favorite voices in Super Junior and SNSD recorded a duet, but said duet was not a ballad. Praise the heavens! Frankly, that alone was enough to land this track a spot on the countdown.

But it wasn't enough that "To the Beautiful You" isn't a ballad, it's also a gorgeous, gorgeous song. But it's not the frail kind of gorgeous either (!!), it's the gorgeous that can potentially punch you in the face. Gracefully. And playfully. At the same time. It's such a fun song during the bridges and the choruses that you just want to burst out in song and dance and jump around to it, but then the verses and that stunning middle 8 show up where everything's so beautifully urgent and confident. The subtle contrast between those two qualities, and how they take advantage of it, is really something.

Earlier this year I talked of a good contrast between Kyuhyun and Tiffany, and that still stands. I love how even if Tiffany has a pretty deep timbre, it's also very feminine and slightly fragile around the edges, and how it both contrasts and and complements Kyuhyun's very deep, yet high, vocals. Chemistry matters in a song like this, but both voices deliver it with conviction.

After running around like a headless chicken during "Twinkle", it's good to know that SM finally figured out how to do this "retro" thing they had going this year, and it's even better that they gave it to a duo who are more than capable of pulling off.

[#46] Super Junior - "Only U"

From: "SPY"
Format: Repackaged Album
Released: August
Territory: South Korea
Previous Best of Appearances (Super Junior proper only): "S.E.O.U.L. Song" (2009) / "It's You" (2009)

When I first locked the list a few days ago, Super Junior weren't part of the final 50. But if there's something I've realized over the years, it's that I'm not always aware of how much I like, or dislike, a song until I sit down and write a review for it. Which is why when I lock the list it doesn't really mean that I'm barring it from changes completely -- in fact, as of now I haven't ranked my top three songs, which means I don't have a #1 yet (that should change very soon though!). Anything can change until I publish, and this is one of those changes.

I love a good melody when I hear one, but I love it even more when that good melody is accompanied by other elements that allow it to shine. "Only U" is that kind of song. The verses start out very unassuming, but there's a sense of urgency to the piano line that's partially hidden by everything else happening. It's that urgency that sort of makes way for the chorus, which is absolutely breath-taking.

The chorus is stunning, but what I like the most about it is how it takes advantage of the fact that it's being sung by a group and not a solo act or even a duo. The padded unison parts, the harmonies carried by the high notes, the ad-libs on top of lead vocals, and even the overlapping of lines (in the second chorus especially) -- these are things only a group can pull off if this was ever sung live. It's also these parts of the song that really drive the point home and give you goosebumps.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, the middle 8 comes in all it's glory. It's very melodic and graceful, but the fact that male voices deliver it (Kyuhyun and Yesung to boot) gives it that forceful body that it needs. But I think what makes it even more effective is the fact that it comes after this very edgy rap part, even though it's still pretty melodic -- it makes the contrast even more striking and surprising.

Wrap very warm, full, production around everything, and you have a song that just makes everyone melt.

Single of the Week: Kyuhyun (Super Junior) and Tiffany (SNSD) - "To The Beautiful You"

Knowing SM's history and lack of brain cells for some of the most important and potentially amazing projects, I wasn't head-over-heels excited for the Tiffany-Kyuhyun duet. I didn't jump to listen to it, and I actually got this part of the "To The Beautiful You" OST for the KRY song. Let's just say that I forgot about KRY and drooled over this masterpiece for an entire day yesterday. And I'm still drooling over it.

I first heard "To The Beautiful You" last Thursday, when I was about to work on this huge report for one of my classes. I was generally really stressed and tired from the exams and papers I had to get done during the previous days, and I thought I'd last maybe an hour before collapsing and not getting the report done. But then this song came on and not only was I shocked that it wasn't a ballad, but for some reason it managed to get me through three and a half hours of schoolwork, when I was running on two painkillers, a huge glass of milk tea, and pizza for dinner.

Because it's a damn good song.

It's no secret that I adore Kyuhyun and Tiffany's vocals, and that I think they're one of the best, if not the best, in their respective groups, but I never really thought of what they would sound like together. Little did I know that they made magic. Apart from the obvious fact that both of them can really sing, they work really well together. Though not as obvious on this track as it is in "Twinkle", Tiffany's voice seems to be aging backwards. While she still has hints of the timbre, her technique is changing, and her regular delivery (i.e., when she's not belting) is moving away from the slightly husky but feminine, towards the thin, slightly shrill -- it just so happens that it's also what contrasts Kyuhyun's very rich vocals. But when Tiffany start's belting, oh dear the belting -- gorgeous.

Vocals really do take center stage on "To The Beautiful You", but it also plays around with the dynamics of the duet part. I love the unison parts, because it's not like other K-Pop duets where the two people just do their thing for their parts of the song, then have a screaming match at the end. They have solos, of course, but they sound phenomenal when they come in together and they know when to hold back just enough so they can both be heard.

As far as the song itself is concerned, I really have nothing but praises for it. That melody is gorgeous, and we finally have vocals that can counter, and carry, the otherwise flat production. The arrangement and transitions are really, really, smooth, and they chose the right mix of instruments -- they're sure of themselves, sure in being a hybrid of K-Pop and Motown. I love those little piano lines in between too, I never thought I'd use this to describe a part of a song, but they're adorable.

This was the kind of graceful kick I was looking for in "Twinkle" -- it's like they finally took out the pillow that was between the kick-er and kick-ee for "To The Beautiful You". What we get is a well-done song overflowing with attitude, but at the same time melodic, with just a pinch of swing for good measure. See what a chemistry and a little attitude do to a song?

5/5

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Here I go again disappearing on you guys, for the same reasons as before. These past few weeks, this last one in particular, have been really stressful and bloody, complete with typhoons and monsoon rains in between. And, like all those other times, I just couldn't bring myself to write. I tried, a lot, but well, you all know what happened. Also, I said this over Twitter, but I also got a position at Popjustice, which was so unbelievable that I spend several days staring into space and pondering on the meaning of life because really, how did someone like me get a job like that? Popjustice was one of my "okay after I graduate maybe I can move there and try to get a job there", but now I have it. And I haven't even graduated!

Speaking of milestones, while I was away, you guys managed to get together and get Pop Reviews Now to over ONE MILLION pageviews! I know these days 1 million is a small number for big sites, and it's long-overdue considering that it's been a little over four years since I started, but I guess this really is the epitome of working from the ground up. Despite my long absences (which most of you should be used to now), thank you so much for sticking with me, and actually noticing me in the first place! Here's to two million? I promise to stick around. :D

Super Junior - "Sexy, Free & Single"

Time really flies, doesn't it? It seems like just yesterday when I was flailing over the brilliance that is "Sorry Sorry", kicking and screaming over the disaster that was "Bonamana", and not talking about "Mr. Simple" until I had to. Here we are again, with another Super Junior album. Their sixth! Now they're just making me feel old.

Like a lot of albums this year, so I've noticed, I had zero expectations for this. I mean at the back of my mind I was expecting the usual SM formula of lead single, token uptempo, and ballads for everything else, but another part of me wanted this album to be good, for reasons even I'm not so sure. Maybe, just maybe, SM would bring out something brilliant, because they are perfectly capable of it. The teaser didn't do anything to those expectations, but I'm afraid this album is a whole different story.

Or rather, a non-existent story. Brace yourselves for another snooze-fest, my friends. Although, in defense, this isn't a snooze-fest because all the songs are lost causes. There are some songs in here that actually have a lot of potential if done right. But ultimately, that's also where the problem is. Super Junior have been around for seven years now -- this is their sixth album, and it's still mediocre. Potential, and "it would be better if..."'s are for groups in their first two or three years, not for senior groups who have almost immeasurable stature in K-Pop.

The execution is another major problem, and it's the part of the album I'm most disappointed in. I expected much, much, better. Their half-baked, bored execution is yet another indication that they most probably know that this album isn't any good. But that's not the way to do it, because a lot of these songs could've been decent with a bit of conviction and fearless execution.

Just last week I was talking about fearless pop, courtesy of Jokwon's brilliant album, and how apt that was, because Super Junior have showed us the exact opposite, in the form of the album's lead single. "Sexy, Free and Single" is an over-all good idea for a song, executed in a scared and confused way. The verses are strong, both vocally and arrangement-wise, with SM's always-strong production sweeping in and tying everything together. It has the right combination of groove and stiff synths, and the melody is gorgeous. The bridges get even better on all levels, leading to what I think is a chorus, still well-executed and with very apt vocal treatment, and then BAM, the build up abruptly disappears into a generic, overused and annoying Super Junior chanting session. It doesn't even dissolve or fizzle -- it just stops in mid-air and goes straight to the disaster. The middle 8 that follows another repetition of that cycle is beautiful, but the hook comes in again and ruins everything. Everything.

What happened, SM? I was this close to calling "Sexy, Free and Single" a good song!

Lack of cohesion aside, the biggest problem is that the part of the song that messes everything up is, in K-Pop, the single most important part. Of anything. K-Pop songs depend of their hooks to get people listening -- the hook is the part that's played on variety shows or when members dance. This is the part that will get the most airtime outside of the song, and it's crap, because they can't see through what they started. Because they're afraid.

Pop should be fearless. End of story.

Actually, I wasn't that let down with the album just yet, because while the lead single was a let-down, it wasn't exactly as big as a disaster as some of Super Junior's other mistakes. That and "From U" is actually a pretty song. At this point I was actually going "now that's how you do it, SuJu" -- because this had the conviction I was looking for, laced with a pretty melody and a quaint instrumental. It's a song that isn't hard to listen to, but then I realized that that's pretty much all it will amount to. Countless listens will wear it out, somewhat like a pair of your most comfortable shoes. They're still comfortable compared to other shoes, but time creates a big gap between how they are now, and how they were when they were new. What you hear outright is what you get with "From U", and for now that will do, but this lacks the dimension needed to sustain this for the long-run.

I spoke too soon though, because the second I heard "Gulliver", I knew that was where this album was going to rapidly fall. Hard. This song was an absolute pain to listen to, partially because the chanting, and everything else, was too low, and as a whole, everyone was trying way too hard. Waaaaaay too hard. This is half the songwriter's fault, half SuJu's. I can't tell whether they're rapping okay or singing badly during the verses, the bridge is a mess with random belting from people like Ryeowook, and then when it gets to the point where the song is supposed to explode and blow everyone away with something like a more packed belting session (if it was like that it would've been okay), the song leads to "Gulliver" being chanted over and over and over again and I just wanted everything to stop. Just when I thought nothing could be worse, out of nowhere it's like someone fiddled with the tempo controls, slowed the chanting down, and just slapped a completely new part in the last thirty seconds, where the song ends. Just like that. And you're left scratching your head going "what the hell did I just hear?"

If you listen really, really, reeeeeeeally hard, "Someday" is actually a pretty song. But it's the kind of song that just sits there, waiting for you to notice it when it's not actually that pretty. It's a song that's neither exceptionally stunning nor pathetically bad, but it's those songs that need to work especially hard, because they're the closest to being amazing, and it's highly possible that they will be. With a little push, which this song doesn't have. Blame it on the fact that it's not just KRY, or on the boring arrangement (that even my beloved strings couldn't save), bottom line is, this song could've been so much more. Scrap that cheesy instrumental before the middle 8, make the vocals a little more interested, and make things explode -- that would've been pretty stunning, if you asked me.

"NOW" is clearly a filler track, there's no other plausible explanation of why this song is on this album when it's so out of place. It's also ridiculously confused. I get that they want to be all melodic, tongue-in-cheek, British pop-rock, and that's actually what the song is, but the problem is that it's so anticlimactic. They shouldn't have chorused the chorus (that makes sense, okay! it does!), because SuJu chorus vocals are thin to start with, and the production on this song was also very light and airy.

"Rockstar" begins what I call the boring electronica and ballad parade of "Sexy, Free and Single", which has replaced the lone sleep-inducing ballad parade, but it's still just as bad.

In fairness to them, "Rockstar" isn't as bad as it was when I first heard it, and I was actually this close to saying it was pretty okay (which has been happening with a lot of the songs on this album, if you've noticed), but then the "Oh. My. God. I'm. So. Hot." line came up and my perpetual face palm for this song returned. I don't really have an exceptionally big problem with songs like this if they're done right, but the Super Junior version sounds half-baked and scared, and that kind of delivery makes songs like this funny. If you're going to do fierce, you have to do it fearlessly.

We have a little break from all the up tempos courtesy of "Bittersweet", and when I say interlude, I actually mean filler track #2. (In comparison to the rest of the album, at least.) It's the type of song that just goes right through you because while it's right in between bad and good, there are no major parts that can be tweaked to make it ever so slightly better, or worse. This is the most this song will be, and it falls short. Everything from the boring melody to the directionless instrumental.

And the same goes for "Butterfly", actually. The instrumental is interesting at the beginning, and the melody is a noble idea, but it's just so boring it hurts. "Bittersweet" is actually slightly better than "Butterfly", because at least it doesn't have the overpowering synths and horrid chanting laced together.

"Daydream" is yet another diamond in the rough. And at this point I'm very frustrated because after seven years of work, I expected sparkly, edgy and stunning diamonds, and now that I'm at the tail end of the display, they're either still graphite, or really rough diamonds. I mean "Daydream" has a pretty melody, but right now I could name over a hundred other songs with pretty melodies. Like everything else on this album, it doesn't demand your attention -- it doesn't sparkle.

"A 'Good' Bye" has a bit more sparkle, thank goodness. What makes me like this song a little more is that it actually tries to be a little more interesting. All the little details here and there, like the guitar line and the string section, plus the gimmicks like the ticking clock -- they try to catch your attention. It's mostly in vain because the song still bores to death, but after everything else, seeing some kind of initiative is obviously better. An okay way to end the album, given the circumstances.

Super Junior are supposed to be one of the "forerunners" of K-Pop, of pop music in Asia. But tell me, how are they supposed to live up to that title if even they are afraid of pop? If even they, after seven years, countless awards and industry influence at their disposal, cannot, for the lives of them, deliver a fearless pop album?

The Best: “From U”
The Better: “Sexy, Free and Single”
The Worst: "Gulliver"
The Rating: 1.5/5

[2011 Gayo Daejun Special] KBS - The Okay, The Boring and The Sleep-Inducing

I think the title alone is a big giveaway of how the KBS Gayo Daejun was. Sometimes sleep-incuding, most of the time boring, and occasionally okay. Yup, that's about right. It was a smaller venue than the SBS and KBS ones, which means that KBS should've had an easier time handling the sound quality and such, but I'm afraid that was not the case, because vocals during the latter parts of the show were horrid. Plus the fact that the people in the audience were practically zombies, and the acts looked bored out of their wits, as if they were forced to appear on the show. Which they probably were.

I wanted the acts jumping through hoops and fire, KBS, HOOPS AND FIRE. I got none of that. At all. Even from my beloved DBSK. How dare you.

Two things before we start. This recap focuses only on idols, so the other acts who appeared on the show, rappers and the like, will not be included in the selection. And also, I wanted to get this out as fast as possible before everyone forgets about the Gayo Daejuns. So due to the fact that today is a school night and I have a mountain of readings to tackle (ALREADY!! *sobs*), plus I'm about to collapse from fatigue and stress and general exhaustion, the videos and other formatting details will have to wait until tomorrow when I'm a bit more alive. Please don't ask me for the videos, because writing this up took a so much effort, and a lot of strong coffee.

Before we get to the three main categories of this recap, there is one performance that deserves a special mention. Not because it's amazingly good, but because it was horribly blasphemous.

Kim Hyun Joong - "Rainism"
If Rain saw this, he'd bawl his eyes out because it's so bad. It's even too bad to be a parody, because parodies are deliberately made bad, so they can be funny (did anyone see that Kim Shin Young parody where the lyrics were about food?), but Kim Hyun Joong was as serious as serious can be. And really now, even if Rain wasn't exactly K-Pop's best singer, at least he could sing his own songs! This performance was LIP-SYNCHED, and it was STILL bad. The dancing wasn't that hot, the vocals were pathetic and painful, especially towards the end when he tried to do those runs, and this was a useless performance. Absolutely useless.

THE BORING

Davichi - "Don't Say Goobye"
It's a gorgeous song, and a gorgeous arrangement, with those epic drums and the stunning and flawless harmonies, but it was soooooooooo boring. The only thing keeping me awake was the thought that their voices were really gorgeous, and the harmonies kinda gave me little slaps on the face to keep me from drifting to sleep. And it didn't help that they were the only ones on stage and they were just standing there. I don't talk about it much, but I've always believed that the visual aspect of a performance is important too. Always second to the music, yes, but without the visuals you get performances like this.

4Minute - "Mirror Mirror"
It was interesting enough until they started singing, with all the back-up dancers behind them and the white coats against the dark backdrop, but it just got boring once they started singing. The dance break was okay, and Gayoon standing alone on stage kinda woke me up a bit, but once the singing started again there were nothing special, even with the remix and all the flashing lights.

U-Kiss - "Neverland"
I understand that they were trying to do the "epic" sound with this re-arrangement, but it completely sucked all the life out of the song. That's not just because their vocals were muffled, but because the instrumental was so one-dimensional. They tried to put some kick in it, but failed miserably. The entire performance sounded like U-Kiss were submerged in a tub of jello, and all you hear are muffled screams.

f(x) - "Danger"
Everything about this performance looked, and sounded, so robotic. Except Luna's line, but everything was so stiff, and Amber looked bored. There's a difference between orchestrated down to the last detail and robotic, and this performance was robotic.

Secret - "Shy Boy"+"Love is MOVE"
I adore the re-arrangement of "Shy Boy", it had spunk to it, but what ultimately bored me to death was the fact that "Shy Boy" was lip-synched. Their vocals were too clean for the performance, too smooth for something that should be really high-energy and lively, because of the nature of the processing. But on the other hand, their live vocals on "Love is MOVE" were weak, and that bored me too, because it sounded just like a regular weekly music show. I'm better off watching an episode of MuBank, the sound might even be better.

SNSD - "The Boys"
This was just like any other performance of "The Boys", and it wasn't even done extraordinarily well, in fact, they sounded even more strangled than they usually do, and that was the only thing that kept me awake, to be honest with you.

2PM - "Electricity"+"Hands Up"
"Electricity" was okay, but when you slow "Hands Up" down, it sounds even worse. It's repetitive, it's monotonous, and the instrument is very one-dimensional, so it literally sounds like you just slowed the song down at home and played it at a New Year's Eve party with your family and friends. It just goes on and on and on and on. If not for their stage presence, this would've put me to sleep from the very beginning.

THE SLEEP INDUCING

f(x), 4Minute, Infinite, IU, Super Junior, - K-Pop Shuffle Dance Special/K-Pop To The World
Oh dear. The lights gave me a headache, and the dubstep overload just put me to sleep. Gee, thanks KBS. You clearly didn't want me to watch the rest of your show. Seriously, even with the hooks under the heavy looping, the thing just went on and on and on and oooooooooooon. And they were essentially just doing a bunch of dance steps over and over and over and overrrrrrr. Although, the one thing that amused me was the fact that "Mr. Simple", without the heavy remixing, fit right in to the medley. That just goes to show how shallow that song is.

BEAST - "Fiction"
You know, when the performers themselves look like they're bored out of their wits and scream half-hearted "let's go!"'s, it affects their entire performance. Everything. And BEAST performed - sang, danced - like zombies. It's not even funny or incredibly bad, it's so pitiful that I just wanted to sleep through it to not see it. And it doesn't help that Hyunseung completely destroyed his high note. Even when they changed the arrangement towards the end, they still looked half-asleep, and the guy singing looked like he was about to cry. There was absolutely no kick to this performance, and it's such a shame because I expect a lot from BEAST.

Kim Hyun Joong - "Lucky Guy"
This is definitely a better choice, over "Break Down", because it's just that much more lively and fits Hyun Joong's vocals, but it STILL put me to sleep. It didn't help that this came over that horrid shuffle dance medley, so I was still half asleep. Even if it's a lively song, Hyun Joong's vocals have absolutely no sense of dynamics, nor do they have any body, and so he effectively made this performance flat. The best part was the end.

IU - "Good Day"+"You and I"
Strong, consistent, vocals, but the remix was so boring and generic that, once again, it sucked out all the life out of the song. And even if IU's vocals are nice, they're pretty thin around the edges, and so she needs kick to her arrangements. This was just flat, so her vocals turned too cute and too weak, albeit okay. And it put me off for the rest of the performance, so when "You and I" came on I was already knocked out and asleep. And no amount of bouncy, IU could've erased the boring arrangement she just did beforehand.

The Okay

Infinite - "Paradise"+"Be Mine"
The lights on the suits, although not exactly original, were a nice touch and an okay way to open the show. Nothing especially spectacular happened on this performance, but their vocals were pretty solid for Infinite standards, the dance intro was well-prepared and practiced (no one forgot anything), and the transitions, from the dance to the remix of "Paradise", to another dance break and finally to "Be Mine", were clean. The fact that this is one of the best performances of the night should not only be a compliment to Infinite, but an insult to KBS.

SISTAR - "SO COOL"
I never thought I'd see the day where I'd put a SISTAR performance among the best, but really, after the boring performances that came before, this was a welcome relief. And it's not like SISTAR are completely talentless, only 3/4 of them! Hyorin's vocals were incredibly strong as usual, and for the first time I didn't notice their lack of grace that much. I see improvement!

Miss A - "Goodbye Baby"
Brilliant re-arrangement. I loved the drums during the intro, even if they were pretty useless for the rest of the song, but I also adore the arrangement of the song itself, with just that hint of rock elements, including real drums (!!), but also enough of the original, familiar, arrangement! And they pulled this off much, much better than the SBS re-arrangement! Strong vocals, good concept, fitting re-arrangement. Best performance of the night? Best performance of the night.

Wonder Girls - "Be My Baby"
The beginning was messy, I don't know if it was on purpose or what, but their choreography was all over the place. Their vocals were strong, and up until the dance break it was actually really boring. All I could think of was that if I wanted to see a performance like this, I could've watched a weekly music show. Even their comeback was more flashy than that. But the end kind of resurrected them, and it was so amusing to hear Ye Eun and Sun Ye actually singing what should've been autotuned. I'd say, as a whole, this is okay verging on boring.

DBSK/HoMin - "Before U Go"+"Why? (Keep Your Head Down)"
This was not their best. It wasn't, and I'm disappointed, but their heavily overdubbed vocals could've been because this was pre-recorded and SME couldn't help but show off their flashy studios. HOWEVER, if you listen well enough (like I know many of you did!), it's rather clear that they're actually singing and not just relying on the overdub because their vocals were actually consistent. And that's something these new acts have to learn. Like what I said about their SBS performance, DBSK are, first and foremost, singers, and so even with the overdub, it's courtesy to the audience to sing live for a live performance. And that's what separates them from their back-up dancers, that's why they're the featured artist on their albums. Not because they look good, go on variety shows, and dance on stage, but because they sing.

11 Albums You HAD to Hear in 2011

I thought of mixing things up a bit this year, so instead of just laying down the best albums that came out in the past twelve months, I'm going to be talking about the albums that caught my ears, and maybe even eyes, this year. They are on the list not necessarily because they're amazing albums (but I have those too!), but because they've been talked about, or they've broken records, and basically because they've caught my attention. Therefore, I won't just be talking about the music, so I hope it's a welcome change!


The rules:

1. This list is exclusively for releases which contain FIVE (5) or more tracks. A mini-album must have the minimum five tracks, whereas a full-length one should feature at least TEN (10) original tracks. Only cuts which were released for the first time in 2011 are eligible to be counted. For example, in SNSD's Japanese album "GIRLS' GENERATION", "Genie" and "Gee" were Japanese singles in 2010, not 2011, and so they will not be included in the final, technical, count (exclusively for eligibility and classification), however they can be talked about in the review proper.
2. The featured artist must be an idol or idol group and of Korean nationality, regardless of where the album was released and what nationality the production staff were.
3. The featured artist must be the sole artist on least 75% of the songs on the album. So, for example, G.NA's "Black and White" (let's pretend rule #1 doesn't exist for now, because half of that album was from 2010) contains TEN (10) tracks. However, in SIX (6) of those ten tracks, she shares credits with other artists. Therefore, the album is disqualified.
4. One album per artist, regardless of territory. If the artist had two albums this year, only one can appear on the list.

I will not be writing full reviews for the eleven albums on the list, however, if available, I will refer you guys to my reviews of the albums, or singles. I don't have enough time to write eleven full reviews, but I hope the 2-3 paragraphs I wrote will suffice.

The Album: Super Junior - "Mr. Simple"
The Format: Full-Length
The Release: August 2011, South Korea
The Lead Single: "Mr. Simple"
The PRN Review: N/A
The Reason: Because according to Hanteo, and several other Korean sales charts, this is the biggest-selling album in Korea for 2011. So far. Do I think it deserves that title? Honestly, no. And that's why it caught my attention, because this is the business side of the industry at work -- you don't just have to have superior material to be popular, you also need buying power and armies of fans who will buy anything you release at the drop of a hat. And sometimes, you can't have both. The material on "Mr. Simple" aren't the dregs of the earth or anything, but so much more could've been done, considering that one, Super Junior aren't completely lacking in talent, and two, SM Entertainment clearly have the money and manpower to get better material. I mean, if you put together a sub-par album then put Super Junior's name on it, since the buying public is stupid, then no one will really notice how bad the album is, right? "Mr. Simple" also demonstrates how stupid all these capitalists are for thinking that we're stupid.
The Recommended Track(s): "Opera", "My Love, My Kiss, My Heart"

The Album: Wonder Girls - "Wonder World"
The Format: Full-Length
The Release: November 2011, South Korea
The Lead Single: "Be My Baby"
The PRN Review: Full Review, Best of 2011 - "Me, In"
The Reason: Best album of the year, and most definitely worth the long wait. I went from being this close to absolutely hating their Korean material, to worshipping the ground they walk on. I don't do that very often. But somehow, in this massive shift, the Wonder Girls managed to keep the sound that makes them, themselves. "Wonder World" is cohesive yet diverse, it's fresh yet familiar but confident, and the material is not only top-grade, it's also well-executed. Outstanding song selection and strong production, but not too strong, giving the album some character. Catchy hooks, simple melodies, a whole array of synth loops, and everything your standard pop album has to have these days, but done in a sophisticated and musical manner.  "Wonder World" is pop down to the last note, and it's not ashamed of that, but it also has kick. With tracks like "Me, In", why wouldn't it? It's one of those albums that you have to listen to from start to finish over and over and over again.
The Recommended Track(s): "Girls Girls", "Me, In", "Stop!", "Sweet Dreams", "G.N.O."

The Album: BEAST - "Fiction and Fact"
The Format: Full-Length
The Release: May 2011, South Korea
The Lead Single: "Fiction"
The PRN Review: Full Review, Best of 2011 - "Though I Call"
The Reason: BEAST are solid proof that effort can, and will, go a long way. They have talent, they have good songs, but unlike other acts, they also put in actual effort to make up for what they lack in. Even if they got what is possibly the best material Cube ever provided, the album was a success because they knew how to deliver the material and how to make it work for them. The songs on "Fiction and Fact" have the potential to be classics, and it's not exactly impossible now that BEAST have the influence they have now. And also, the material allowed us to both look at how far BEAST have come, but also see what they still have to improve on, and something to make us look forward to their next release.
The Recommended Track(s): "You", "Virus", "Though I Call"

The Album: DBSK/Tohoshinki/HoMin - "TONE"
The Format: Full-Length
The Release: November 2011, Japan
The Lead Single: "Why? (Keep Your Head Down)"
The PRN Review: N/A
The Reason: It's DBSK, that's why. Even if it's just Yunho and Changmin now, doesn't mean it can't be brilliant. Despite the fact that DBSK are of Korean descent and thus are eligible for the "K-Pop" categories of major Japanese retailers' charts (like other Japanese-language releases by K-Pop acts such as SNSD and KARA), they do not appear on them. Instead, they are counted as a J-Pop act and are the only K-Pop group ranked alongside J-Pop artists. (see: my soompi article on HMV Japan's year-end rankings) Despite the influx of Korean acts in Japan, DBSK (and BoA!) are still much, much higher up the respect ladder than everyone else, and this album is solid proof of that. While the rest of the Hallyu wave is merely scraping the surface of Japan, DBSK are already a part of the Japanese industry. "TONE" is an amazing album, whether you hear it in CDQ or MP3, because every single track matters, and every single track was thought through and delivered outstandingly, but with such ease. Filler tracks, what filler tracks?
The Recommended Track(s): "Back To Tomorrow", "Thank U My Girl", "Duet", "I Don't Know"

Tohoshinki - Superstar PV from cTVXQmusic on Vimeo.

The Album: SNSD/Girls' Generation - "GIRLS' GENERATION"
The Format: Full-Length
The Release: June 2011, Japan
The Lead Single: "Genie"
The PRN Review: Single Review - "Mr. Taxi", Best of 2011 - "Let It Rain"
The Reason: It was SNSD's first Japanese album, the best-selling K-Pop album in Tower Records Japan during the first half of the year (despite being out for only a month prior to the chart), and it was their ticket to this year's Kouhaku Uta Gassen. In short, it was massively successful. And it's probably one of the most cohesive SNSD albums. Ever. With material from Swedish producers like Jörgen Elofsson, strong A&R, and generally okay vocals from the girls, this is probably the best album SNSD have ever released. Of course "Gee" sticks out like a sore thumb, and so does "Genie" at times, but the album proper, and the new material first heard in Japanese, is really good. Months after it's release, and a few hundred plays later, the good songs are still as good as they were back in June.
The Recommended Track(s): "you-aholic", "Let It Rain", "BORN TO BE A LADY", "Mr. Taxi"

The Album: MBLAQ- "Mona Lisa"
The Format: Mini
The Release: July 2011, South Korea
The Lead Single: "Mona Lisa"
The PRN Review: Best of 2011 - "Mona Lisa"
The Reason: Apart from actually being a good, solid album, "Mona Lisa" was what I had been waiting for since day one. Like I said earlier this month, this EP is still not enough to make up for the disaster of the debut they had back in 2009, but it's a step in the right direction. We have actual songs now, people, ACTUAL SONGS! They've managed to deliver good, solid songs, without losing the MBLAQ sound, a bit thin around the edges and trying to be a Michael Jackson song, among others. And, I never thought I'd say this, but the album is filled with gorgeous songs. Stunning, almost. Everything, from "Mona Lisa" down to the last track, they're all such a pleasure to listen to. "Mona Lisa" is as cohesive as it is gorgeous, and it's also one of the few albums I can listen to without skipping a single track.
The Recommended Track(s): "Mona Lisa", "One", "말하지 말걸.."

The Album: Brown Eyed Girls - "Sixth Sense"
The Format: Mini
The Release: September 2011, South Korea
The Lead Single: "Sixth Sense"
The PRN Review: SOOMPI - single review ("Cleansing Cream")
The Reason: "Sixth Sense" is girl group master class, courtesy of the Brown Eyed Girls. Even if you don't like their music, because even I'm very picky with the BEG songs I like, you have to hand it to these girls because my gosh the attitude is literally spilling out of the album. Even for a toned-down song like "La Boheme", which is also my favorite track. It's half the material, because the songs are so distinct yet tie together nicely, and half their strong vocals. They pull off the material because they actually have the vocals to jump through hoops and fire. While all the other girl groups were either going the cute route or trying way too hard to be edgy and "fierce" (I'm talking to you, SNSD and "The Boys"), the Brown Eyed Girls don't even have to lift a finger and BAM you have "Sixth Sense", both the album and the gorgeous, gorgeous single. Listen to it for the sake of hearing what kind of attitude everyone else should be channeling, regardless of the song.
The Recommended Track(s): "La Boheme", "Sixth Sense"

The Album: Big Bang - "The Fourth Mini Album"
The Format: Mini
The Release: February 2011, South Korea
The Lead Single: "TONIGHT"
The PRN Review: The First Quarter Report
The Reason: Big Bang not only did a lot for their careers this year, they also did a lot for K-Pop. I know I kept quiet about their EMA win, but I'd rather it be them than a lot of other acts who could've very well been nominated as well, because even if I don't worship Big Bang, they, as musicians, have my respect, something I don't give out a lot in k-pop. Their 2011 offering was tight, cohesive, strong, and distinctly Big Bang. Catchy hooks, synths all over the place, and your usual Big Bang chaos were all present, but with a fresher, more current sound. Even without watching their performances and just listening to the album, I could literally imagine the five of them running around and going wild on stage.
The Recommended Track(s): "SOMEBODY TO LOVE", "TONIGHT"

The Album: Infinite - "OVER THE TOP"
The Format: Full-length, counting the repackaged tracks
The Release: July 2011, South Korea
The Lead Single: "Be Mine"/"PARADISE"
The PRN Review: N/A
The Reason: To the industry, and the fans, Infinite's success was one of the year's biggest surprises. You have here a group from a rather small talent agency, with okay, but not brilliant or stellar, vocals, and they actually won Inkigayo and M!Countdown this year. And who were they up against on Inkigayo? Oh, no one. Just the Brown Eyed Girls, KARA, Super Junior, B1A4, Davichi and Sung Shi Kyung. Although 4 wins is a far cry from the likes of DBSK, Big Bang, SNSD, BoA and a host of others, they have laid down the foundations, and they can only go up from here. "OVER THE TOP" is not the year's strongest album, but it's a solid effort, and a solid base to take off from now that Infinite are no longer rookies. It's a well-rounded and well-done album, that's very sure of itself, but it also leaves a lot of room for Infinite to grow with their subsequent releases, which I'll be eagerly waiting for!
The Recommended Track(s): "Amazing", "Julia", "Be Mine", "Paradise", "Because", "Tic Toc"

The Album: G.NA - "Top Girl"
The Format: Mini
The Release: August 2011, South Korea
The Lead Single: "Top Girl"
The PRN Review: Best of 2011 - "Banana (Feat. SWINGS, JC지은)"
The Reason: Because everyone should know of the injustice that is being done to G.NA. Sure, she's not the best singer in k-pop right now, she's a bit flimsy around the edges, but she's probably the most stable and one of the best voices in Cube! And she got *this* as a "big comeback single"? Blasphemy. The rest of the album, although the two recommended tracks are pretty, sound like leftovers from BEAST and 4Minute (and 4Minute didn't exactly get good material this year either) and even if I like "Banana", G.NA can't sing that song live even if she tried really hard. It's such a waste, because k-pop finally gets a young solo artist that is more pop than ballad, and who is actually from a talent agency with actual influence in the industry, and they just ruin her. "I'll Back Off So You Can Live" was light years better than this, I want that back.
The Recommended Track(s): "싫어", "Without You"

The Album: JYJ - "IN HEAVEN"
The Format: Full-length
The Release: September 2011, South Korea
The Lead Single: "IN HEAVEN"
The PRN Review: Full Review
The Reason: With all the intrigue that surrounded JYJ this year, and will probably continue to surround them next year, it's good to know why SME is so afraid of them that they take all these drastic measures to ensure that JYJ never promote this album on Korean TV, including banning "Pierrot" for mentioning "PSM", which apparently means "President Soo Man". JYJ denied it, and even if it's most probably true that it has something to do with SM, they didn't explicitly state it for heaven's sake! A "guess" cannot be grounds for banning a song. It's also good to know why, even amidst all the stupidity JYJ were faced with, this is still one of the biggest-selling albums of the year. Despite not being spoon-fed prime material from local and foreign songwriters and not boasting of "foreign producers" (they've already had their fill of that, thank you very much), JYJ deliver a solid effort with "IN HEAVEN". There's much to improve, yes, and it's only right that they learn to walk before they run, but for what it is, "IN HEAVEN" is a good album.
The Recommended Track(s): "Get Out", "Boy's Letter", "IN HEAVEN", "You're"

Agree? Disagree? What albums did I miss out on? Comment away! ^_^

The 2011 Pop Reviews Now Holiday Special Part 1: "2011 SMTOWN Winter: The Warmest Gift"

Just a quick explanation of how I'm doing this year's Christmas posts. So, obviously this SM TOWN Christmas album is part 1, and for part 2 I'll be reviewing some of my favorite K-Pop Christmas offerings, both old and new. Rules and stuff will be discussed in part 2. But now, on to more important business.

It's been a good three years since any sort of SM Town release, the last being the half-SM Town Summer 2009 EP with Super Junior, SHINee and DBSK. If you remember correctly, we were told that the other half of SM Town, namely the girls, would be featured on the Christmas album. Well, clearly that didn't happen. But FINALLY, SM has decided to put something out in time for Christmas. Is it any good? Well, that's a pretty long story.

When news of this album first broke, I was ecstatic. Of course, SM Town isn't SM Town without a fail Yoochun English rap, a Jaejoong/Lina or Jaejoong/BoA duet, or some goofing around courtesy of Shindong and Eunhyuk's rap part, but I could do without that if it meant getting one song with everyone thrown in, acting happy in a fake-snow wonderland. Right? That was until I found out that not only was there no group song this year (WHAT KIND OF BLASPHEMY IS THIS?!), but the album would be 100% English. Let's just say that if Yoochun, who actually spent more than a few days in the US, manages to epicly screw up all his English parts, what more the others. And let's face it, there are only a handful of SM Town artists who can actually speak good English. I'm still thinking of whether or not BoA is in that handful.

And once again, my psychic powers did not fail. The English is horrible. I'm an English major(well, comparative literature, but I'm still under the English department), I know. But the bad English isn't really the big problem, it's the fact that it's in English.

Let me put it simply, the album is too Americanized. It's hardly K-Pop anymore. Say all you want to say about how K-Pop is just a rip-off of Western music, but you know, even if majority of the songs probably are, you can tell the difference between K-Pop and American pop. You know why I'm into K-Pop? It's because I'm so sick of US Pop, and here we are, back to the very sound I want to avoid.

The problem with it sounding too American is that one, obviously they're not American, but two, really now, what good, distinctively Christmassy POP songs have the Americans contributed to the standard Christmas repertoire? "All I Want For Christmas Is You"? Seriously now. "Last Christmas"? You have got to be kidding me. They're merely pop songs with Christmas lyrics about gifts and snow. There’s so much more to a Christmas song than that. This SM Town album sounds like a confused Rat Pack-turned-makeshift Christmas album, to be completely honest.

This album is massively confused. Massively. So either the song itself isn't K-Pop enough, or when they finally get the song choice right, they screw up the execution. My prime example? Jang Ri In's version of "Oh Holy Night", which is actually one of my favorite Christmas songs. The girl has a gorgeous voice, she really does, and what does she do? She murders the song. All those runs and those strange sounds she makes with her voice. No, just no. There's a reason why the Christina Aguilera Christmas album was a complete failure.

Yes, I'm very picky with Christmas songs, but that's only because my childhood was filled with some of the most gorgeous Christmas songs anyone will ever hear. I grew up not only listening to them, but singing them as well. I know my Christmas repertoire - everything from the classic Handel's "Messiah" to Filipino novelty Christmas songs where you make sounds out of combs and pieces of wax paper, to the most tear-jerking, yet most distinctly Filipino Christmas song you will ever hear, I've sung them all. So imagine going from all those, to a bunch of pop songs that don't even sound like Christmas. They are inferior not because they are pop songs, there are some gorgeous pop Christmas songs (DBSK's "Winter Rose" for heaven's sake!), they are inferior because they don't sound like Christmas, they don't serve their purpose.


You want me to tell you what Christmas sounds like? Christmas sounds like a cup of hot chocolate, rich and creamy and sweet, it sounds like a thick blanket wrapped around you, keeping you warm. It sounds like bells ringing in the distance and lights all over, it sounds like you're being surrounded with your family and friends and you're all happy. Christmas songs literally wrap you around in a nice, warm, hug, and refuse to let go. Christmas is such a simple feeling, but it overpowers everything else. Now regardless of how that gets translated into music, that's the standard framework of a Christmas song, and the minute you deviate from that even a bit, you lose the Christmas. All of it.

I don't care if you want to add electric guitars (like Aly&AJ's "Greatest Time of the Year"), go all-out with synths and loops and the works (surprisingly, JYP Nation's "This Christmas"), make everything epic and waltz-y (a-la DBSK's "Winter Rose"), keep it to a bare minimum (Josh Groban's "Thankful), or even make it kinda reggae-ish (like the brilliant Nota a cappella version of "The Little Drummer Boy", complete with a RAP PART), bottom line is that it has to leave people warm and fuzzy.

With the SM Town album, I felt nothing. Nada. Zilch. The entire album sounded like a pop album released any time BUT the holidays, it sounds so clean, too clean almost, and Christmas is not a cleaning contest on who can use the most sanitized production, it’s a contest of who can make the most emotional, goosebump-inducing song. No feeling whatsoever, they all sound like robots. Don't get me wrong, there are gorgeous songs on this album, namely BoA's "Distance", that song is stunning, but they're just not Christmas. Let me put this nicely, even T-Ara's "O My God", which I'm not even sure if it's a Christmas song, sounds more like Christmas than this entire album put together.

Unlike your usual pop song which lasts for a few months before becoming completely irrelevant, when you release a Christmas song, the standard shelf life is forever. Yes, forever. For the good ones, at least. My Christmas playlist this year includes pop Christmas songs that were released as early as 1998. 98 Degrees, BSB, that staple *NSYNC "O Holy Night" 5-part a cappella arrangement, Blue's "Gift", Aly&AJ, and even the DBSK Christmas EP - they're all still relevant. That's because Christmas never grows old, and people will always have a need for a Christmas repertoire. Which is why no one should be surprised that the most familiar "classical" pieces are in fact the Christmas offerings.

In simpler terms, "2011 SMTOWN Winter: The Warmest Gift" is more novel than it is lasting. The arrangements are faddish, the over-all sound very current, but under those you have nothing that can transcend time and cement these songs as Christmas staples. In colloquial Filipino/Taglish, this album is a "one time big time", and does not have the lasting qualities of other, better, Christmas releases. And actually, some of the songs on this package sound more like they belong on the acts' respective albums, and not a CHRISTMAS-themed compilation.

Super Junior's "Santa U Are The One", excusing the horrid English on the chorus (Ear after ear? Seriously?), sounds like a pop song they just slapped some bells on, and some lyrics about happiness and Santa. That's it. It's SO Big Time Rush (but even BTR made a better Christmas song than SuJu)/One Direction ala-"What Makes You Beautiful". I mean it's an okay song, nice and happy and upbeat, and I'd probebly listen to it a lot if it were not for the "ear after ear", but that's all it will ever be, and that's not it's purpose. When I first heard this, I thought it sounded nothing like Christmas, as in nothing at all, but actually, after listening to the rest of the album, this is probably the song that's closest to getting what Christmas songs should be. But still not enough.

I hate the covers on this thing. I hate them. DBSK's "Sleigh Ride" is the biggest disappointment. Because seriously, we went from "Winter Rose" to this monstrosity. This is one of the rare instances that I will consent to a version in another language, because seriously, DBSK should've just done an English version of "Winter Rose". Now THAT is a song that can be milked for all it's worth, because it’s shelf life is literally forever. But no, they had to give DBSK a cheesy cover of "Sleigh Ride", that actually makes them sound sleazy, to be honest.

And really now, SHINee's "Last Christmas" has got to be one of the worst covers of one of the most cheesy, cheap Christmas songs ever released.

It was bad enough when Wham! did it, for heaven's sake. Then they SM-ify everything? Oh dear. The production is okay, and I kinda like the outer space-like synths, but you mix those with some of the most uninterested, boring and lazy vocals I've ever heard from SHINee and you have a disaster. I'm serious, they all sound bored out of their wits, which they probably were, and for once, I would've liked Jonghyun to go wild, because seriously, I fell asleep listening to this song, and not in the good way.

J-Min's cover of the John Lennon song "Happy X-Mas (War Is Over)" is okay, nothing special, and the girl has a nice voice, but once again, it sounds so uninspired. And boring.

As far as "The First Noel" covers go, DBSK win by light years. So I thought that since SM was behind their cover, the Jang Ri In verson would be really good too. Boy was I wrong. I like some parts of the arrangement, like the simple piano part, those gorgeous strings, and the drums, but you know what it sounds like as a whole, including that oriental-sounding instrument? It sounds like an American's attempt to make something "oriental", like "Ninja Assassin" or whatever. And that really disturbs me, because Jang Ri In is CHINESE, and SME is a KOREAN company. I don't get it, and don't think I ever will. To top it all off, like I said earlier, the vocals totally ruined the song. Totally. Why do you have to put all those unnecessary runs and strange vocal techniques into a song that's supposed to be nice, and quiet and simple then it's supposed to explode, but in the really big and tasteful way. Then Ri In just does a Christina/Mariah on it.

BoA's "Distance" is gorgeous, it really is. I love it and I'll probably be looping this for the next few days, but it's still not Christmas enough. "Distance" actually reminds me a lot of a Stacie Orrico/Young CCM-type song, in terms of treatment. The harmonies, and even the instrumentation, sound like something straight off Stacie Orrico’s self-titled album. Which is very, very, VERY far from Christmas. And that bugs me. There's a difference between "gorgeous pop song" goosebumps and "Christmas song" goosebumps, and the goosebumps I got this time were the "gorgeous pop song" ones. Basically, the only part of the song that made it remotely Christmas is the lyrics, and that's a foul. Which is such a shame because BoA has had some really amazing, really Christmassy, releases over the years, and even if "Distance" does match up in terms of gorgeousness, it fails at being Christmas. When you talk of BoA Christmas songs, "On December 27th" is still, hands-down, the best of them all, not even "Meri Kuri" comes close.

SNSD’s “Diamond”, and I'm not sure if I've ever used this analogy, but it kinda sounds like something that would fit right in to the Christmas talent show set list on "Mean Girls", you know, when the slutty, popular girls trying to sing and dance at the same time in skimpy Santa outfits and high heels? Maybe not that drastic, but the chorus is EXACTLY like that. However, the middle 8, and that small bit before it (which I presume is Sunny's part) is gorgeous. Stunning, almost. And actually, it's probably the most Christmas I've heard on the entire album, but then we go back to the uninspired chorus. It's not as boring as the SHINee track, but even for SNSD they can do better.

f(x)'s “1,2,3” also sounds nothing like a Christmas song, bar those strings which were probably just thrown in last-minute. It actually sounds more like the theme song for a FRIENDS rip-off, like, really. It sounds like it belongs on a Disney chick-flick soundtrack (Kinda like that song that's on the "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" soundtrack, which, conveniently, is also called "1,2,3"), not an SM Town Christmas album.

While we're on the topic of songs that sound like they belong elsewhere, CSJH (DANA&SUNDAY)'s "Amazing" sounds more like a charity single ala-Destiny Child's "Stand Up For Love". Pretty far from Christmas, if you ask me. Not that I oppose to Christmas ballads, but again, there's a way to do it without completely missing the point. And it's not that I don't like the song either, I do, it's gorgeous and Dana and Sunday's voices are stunning and the middle 8 kills me every single time, then by the time that stunning piano line comes in just before everything explodes with the chorus behind I die again, but yet again, THIS IS NOT CHRISTMAS. Same goes for Kangta's "For The First Time", Kangta's voice is stunning, but this sounds more like a Disney animated fairytale song that plays just when the prince is about to kiss the princess/girl. It actually sounds like something straight out of Aladdin. Again, pretty far from Christmas, if you ask me.

TRAX's "Like A Dream" sounds like what I kind of expected TRAX to do, but it's too clean, like they sucked all the emotion out of the song and left it to rot. In terms of "band"-ish K-Pop Christmas offerings, actually Infinite's "Lately" takes the prize. I'm sorry, TRAX, but this song sounds more like those tracks you put behind a montage of tour videos and screaming crowds and bands going wild on stage. All in back and white. And in reality, those tracks are usually the cheesiest, filler of filler tracks.



And, of course, a special Christmassy wrap-up:
The most Christmassy song: Thankfully, "Santa U Are The One"
The great, but not Christmassy songs: "Distance", "1,2,3", "Amazing"
The worst song: "Last Christmas"